What Is a Captain Clutch? Or Do You Mean Captain Crunch?

It’s Derek Jeter’s last game or season or something like that. Do I care? Maybe a little. Look, I’m an American. I know that baseball is an All-American game. So, I do sit here during all the commercials and Facebook posts and say, “aww, Jeter’s retiring (he is retiring, right?). He must be sad.” I do.

Really, it’s like anybody else who retires though. I would imagine most people who leave a job they’ve been at for years and have to say goodbye to their co-workers are sad. It comes with the territory. So, yes. It’s sad. I wonder what his pension looks like? I’m just curious.

But basically I feel the same way about baseball as I do about football. And hockey, and basketball and whatever other sport there is out there. I.don’t.care. Period. I know. It’s totally un-American of me. I’m sorry. No, no, actually, I’m not. It is what it is.

I know I’m kind of taking my life in my hands here by saying these things. Look, baseball is really the only game I understand. Because it’s easy. So I appreciate that. But I don’t sit around and watch it. Sometimes I’ll check the score if I know a game is on because I know that more than half the country is watching and I don’t want to feel left out. I know, not a good enough reason. But it’s the truth.

Oh, and why do they call him Captain Clutch? What does that even mean? I never knew that until tonight while I was watching a commercial with Frank Sinatra singing “I Did It My Way.” Actually, that’s a lie. I did see it on Facebook a couple of days ago. Thank God for Facebook. It’s where I get all my news.

His butt does look good in those striped pants though. I guess it’s a good thing for me that I didn’t pay much attention to him. Because then I may miss those striped pants. There’s a positive.

See, this guys likes his butt too.
See, this guys likes his butt too.

Hey, happy retirement Derek Jeter. Enjoy your yachts and your vacation homes and all that jazz. You’ll probably be back. Don’t they sometimes come back? Wasn’t there some big basketball player who did that? Wait. Maybe I’m thinking about Phil Collins. Never mind?

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