Ewe

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Why do designers make clothes with wool?  Yes, it’s toasty.  But that crap itches like a bitch. Sheep look so warm and cozy in their wooly fur.  But perhaps it should stay where it belongs — on the sheep.

A very good friend of mine gave me a gorgeous sweater for Christmas a couple of years back.  I love it.  It’s my favorite color, great shape, perfect fit.  It has it all, including wool.  The first time I wore it, I nearly scratched every body part north of my waist right off.  When I removed the sweater that night, it looked like I had a fight with a feral cat and lost.

I thought I would rectify the situation by going to the store and buying a long sleeved shirt to wear under it.  It worked well enough.  Until I did spring cleaning and threw that shirt away.  Don’t ask me why I threw it away.  I’m a pack rat.  I hate throwing things away as much as I hate throwing food away.  So, now I can’t wear the sweater because I don’t want to itch myself to death and I haven’t made it to the store to purchase another long sleeved shirt.  Even though right now is the perfect time to wear it because it’s so friggin’ cold out.

But I’m off topic.  My question is if wool itches so much, why do manufacturers/ designers use it in clothing?  And why does it itch so damn much?  Does it make everyone itch or is it just me?  Oops, that was three questions.  Itchy Wool — one of the great mysteries of the universe.  Well, my universe anyway.  I think I’ll stick to cotton.

It’s a Sticky Situation

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DH and I bought some new wine glasses.  Red wine glasses.  Because DH has decided after 20 years of marriage he DOES like red wine after all.  So, now I have to share with him. But that’s ok and I’m getting off topic.

What I want to complain about is the stupid price tags and stickers that stores and manufacturers like to put on glassware.  I would like to just once wash the glass and be ready to use it. But no.  That’s not how it works.  We try really, really hard to remove the stickers in one big piece.  Of course, it never goes down like that.  A tiny piece inevitably rips away from the mother ship.  So, we stand there chipping and splitting our nails cursing at the little bastard to come off.

When we finally get it off, we are left with an unsightly sticky film.  We have to completely remove the sticky film because otherwise our hands will get stuck to it every time we use the damn glass.  To do this we have to try to soak them in water and sometimes that isn’t enough.  I usually have to resort to using a butter knife to scrape all the bits off.  Times all this work by 6 or 8 depending upon the size of the glass set you have just purchased.

The same thing goes for picture frames.  Except there is usually a big splotch left where a loved one’s face would go.  There isn’t enough Windex in China to remove that shit.

Please, I’m begging.  Can’t someone come up with a solution?  We have phones that talk to us and magic erase sponges (which, by the way don’t work on stickers because we have tried) but we can’t figure out a better way to price this crap?  For the love of God.  Please don’t make me resort to grocery store plastic.  Wine just doesn’t taste the same in those.  I don’t know how I know this, but I do.