Leader of the…Pack?

My husband and I decided long before we married that probably one child would be enough for us. We were completely fine with it but it seems no one else was.

Them: So, when are you going to have another child?

Me: Um, never…

Them: Oh my, I’m sorry.

Me: No, really, it’s okay.

Them: So what is it? His sperm? Your eggs? You know, my husband’s sperm are slow swimmers. Just stand on your head, it’ll turn those bastards into a pack of little Mark Spitzes.

Me: Well, no, there’ no problem there. We just don’t want to have any more.

Them: (GASP) WHAT??? Oh.my.god. That is totally not a real family. No, two is a family, but one? One is a pet.

Okay dude, like really? If I had a dime for every time I got that reaction or something close to it, I’d have to change my name to Ivana Trump. All I know is there are a lot of people walking around with more balls than Yankee Stadium.

So, if we are not a family, then what are we?  A pack of dogs?  A pet sitting service?  Well, she has always been good at fetching my slippers.  I guess we should have changed her name to Fido.

Mo

4 Replies to “Leader of the…Pack?”

  1. You are the funniest blogger out there! Each morning I look forward to starting my day with a dose of your very real and very funny anecdotes! Keep writing cause I’m hooked!!!

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