My husband and I decided long before we married that probably one child would be enough for us. We were completely fine with it but it seems no one else was.
Them: So, when are you going to have another child?
Me: Um, never…
Them: Oh my, I’m sorry.
Me: No, really, it’s okay.
Them: So what is it? His sperm? Your eggs? You know, my husband’s sperm are slow swimmers. Just stand on your head, it’ll turn those bastards into a pack of little Mark Spitzes.
Me: Well, no, there’ no problem there. We just don’t want to have any more.
Them: (GASP) WHAT??? Oh.my.god. That is totally not a real family. No, two is a family, but one? One is a pet.
Okay dude, like really? If I had a dime for every time I got that reaction or something close to it, I’d have to change my name to Ivana Trump. All I know is there are a lot of people walking around with more balls than Yankee Stadium.
So, if we are not a family, then what are we? A pack of dogs? A pet sitting service? Well, she has always been good at fetching my slippers. I guess we should have changed her name to Fido.Mo