Like Sands Through the Hourglass

Technically, this is how much time went by from the moment I found out I was pregnant with our only child to this exact moment in time: Twenty-three years, seven months, and five days.

Realistically, this is what it felt like: one hot minute.

They always say if you want life to go by quickly go and have yourself some children. Just like when people would tell me to enjoy the baby years because they were the easiest, I didn’t believe them.

But by holy hell they were right. To sound like a total cliche in which my life sometimes seems to be based, I blinked and here we are.

Maybe I blinked twice.

Po-TAY-to, Po-TAH-to.

Last weekend we celebrated the graduation from nursing school of that only child. This was after she went through two years of preschool (“we have plenty of time … she’s only three”), thirteen years of public school (“ok so preschool went fast but seriously we really have plenty of time”), four years of an undergraduate degree (“wait, how did that happen?”), and a year of nursing school (we knew that one would go quickly, it was only a year after all — thank you, nursing school, for not surprising us).

That’s twenty years of some kind of schooling, yet here she is on the precipice of adulthood. Of having a real grownup job with a paycheck. Of paying taxes and having health insurance. Of credit card bills and rent to pay all on her own. Maybe even a mortgage one-day-probably-sooner-than-we-think-because-why-not.

So, what’s next? Marriage, and then children? Grandchildren to make life whiz by even faster? I’m having a hard enough time dealing with menopause.

(If you thought children made you feel old, go and see how you feel when you have to put on your readers to pluck the three inch chin hair that lord knows how long has been standing there at attention for all the world to see. But because it’s grey and your eyesight isn’t what it once was, you just walk around without a care in the world like nothing’s up. At least if it were black that baby would have shown up like a beacon on a cloudy day and been taken care of two inches ago.)

Yes, that was a run-on sentence but I’m at that age where I can do whatever I want. Go ask any of my buddies down at the Senior Center.

Anyway, how did all this happen? I only found out I was pregnant two blinks ago.

Maybe three.

Po-TAY-to, po-TAH-to.

Mo
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