Multi-Task Your Way to Insanity Or Just Don’t Do It

Who here is a multi-tasker? I don’t mean making a list and completing it within six months. I mean an honest to goodness, true multi-tasker. In case you aren’t sure who you are, this is what I’m talking about…

The woman (or man) who can hold down a full-time job (or part-time job, or even no job because that doesn’t really matter…all that does is complicate things), take care of the kids or animals (aren’t they the same?), keep the house, do laundry, do the grocery shopping and put dinner on the table every night.

And THEN do all the other shit that pops up…you know, your second job as Mom’s Taxi Service. Call the insurance company to fight a claim they once again screwed up on. Pull the weeds out of the garden. Service the hubs (or wife or significant other). Go to PTA meetings and/or serve the poor at the local soup kitchen. Not necessarily in that order.

Family members birthdays to buy for (they all seem to be in the same month) and a Bunco outing that is a complete necessity for your sanity even though you really should stay home and knock a couple things off the list. I could seriously go on here, but I’m getting a little nauseous and feeling like I need to lie down (is nap on this list? No, probably not).

If you are one of these people who can straight up do all of the above or something close to it without batting an eyelash or have a full-blown anxiety attack, I give you a standing ovation. Because I can’t do it. I don’t like to do it. And most importantly, I don’t want to do it.

This is one of the reasons why you haven’t heard from me. In addition to taking a really intense writing course, I’ve been looking for a job. I’m still trying to get shit settled from The Kid’s accident with the insurance company. I’ve got phone calls to make and crap to write. I’ve got a kid who still likes me to drive her around although she has her license because — and I swear if I didn’t actually see her pass through my down-below I wouldn’t believe she was mine — she hates to drive.

My house is in shambles. We have a new dog who sheds like it’s his damn job. The dog slobber and dirty paw prints are just about sending me into orbit. Before we didn’t have a dog, I was a lousy housekeeper. Did I paint you a picture yet?

I have books I want to/need to read, blog posts from fellow bloggers that I have to get to. And three games that used to be thirteen but I was a responsible adult and put a kabash on them on Words with Friends. Throwing my iPhone into the lake sounds like a responsible thing to do, don’t you think?

I start a new job next week. So, now I have to add that in there.

I wasn't kidding
I wasn’t kidding

I am here writing this post when I should be making phone calls and faxing important documents. I really should clean out the garbage pail in my office that is so overflowing with shit it’s reaching halfway up my wall. I really should put the laundry that has been sitting in my washer since nine this morning into the dryer.

I haven’t even mentioned a little thing called a shower. That might be important since I do have to look presentable for the three things I must do this afternoon outside of the home. You know, in public. In about thirty minutes.

This was supposed to be a post about multi-tasking and it has turned into a full-on bitch session for me. Thanks for listening. Do you want a turn? Go for it. Bitch away. How do you get it all done? (Keeping a bottle of wine or whiskey close by doesn’t count because that’s a given.)

For me right now, I’m going to take a nap. After I shower. And run errands. And make two phone calls. Or not.

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