My Fruit Flies Spilleth Over

photoIn the break room at My Retail Job, there are fruit flies.  Every single ever loving time I go in there, fruit flies buzz about my head as if I were a pile of camel dung.  This began the very first day I started and continues almost 5 months later.

At first, I thought it was me.  I was feeling a little insecure because I seemed to be the only one swatting at them.  And I don’t swat gracefully.  I literally have a fight with those bastards.   I curse and cuss.  I  smack the air and hit whatever surface they are resting on.  The other day I think I killed about 8 of them.  I was feeling really proud.  I had visions of me holding the Fruit Fly Killer Employee of the Month award.  That vision was short-lived.  Because their siblings were right behind them.  Mocking me.

I never had a problem with fruit flies in my life.  I had a conversation with a friend just 3 days ago.  I was complaining about the fruit flies at work.  She explained to me that she was infested pretty badly once.  She then proceeded to tell me that they multiply.  And multiply.  And freaking multiply.  Like house lice.  Then she told me about a little trick that gets rid of them.  I didn’t really pay attention.  After all, I’ve never had them.  If it hasn’t happened by now, I’m sure it won’t.

I am an extremely superstitious person.  I knock on wood to ward off bad luck.  I don’t step on the cracks so I won’t break my mother’s back (you’re welcome mom) and I will never, ever put up an umbrella in the house.  Well, I guess I didn’t knock on that damn wood because guess what?  I am now the not-so-proud owner of fruit flies.  A lot of them.  I do not lie.

So, I called the friend who told me about the trick that I didn’t really listen to.  Here it is.  Write this down because it’s a bit difficult.  You will need:  a bowl, apple cider vinegar, saran wrap and a hole poker.  Pour some vinegar in a bowl.  Cover it with Saran Wrap and poke some holes.  The holes need to be big enough so the flies can get in.  I guess they are drawn to the vinegar.  And then they fly in and can’t get out.  Ooh, not such a nice way to go.  Sorry about that guys.  Ok, not really.

I put out my little trap.  I went to go check a few minutes ago.  Nothing yet.  But I wonder if it has anything to do with the apple crisp I made that is sitting on my counter open to the public.  And when I say public, I mean the fruit fly public.  Oops.  Tomorrow will be a new day.  Hoping to wake up to a village of dead flies.  Cross my fingers.

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