Oh Poop

WARNING:  People who suffer from weak stomachs, should proceed with caution

My friend Jo suggested I write about this topic.  I honestly don’t know why I didn’t think of it myself. This has been a bone of contention with DH for about 10 years.  Well, I don’t like it either. But he REALLY doesn’t like it.  In fact, I had my finger on the buttons of the phone to call 911 a few years ago because I was afraid he was going to get into a fight with a man who did exactly this….

Let his dog poop in our yard and didn’t pick it up.

It’s not so fun when you rake, mow or step in it.  I know because I have stepped in shit.  And I don’t mean in the proverbial way either.

About 2 years ago, I was on a nice walk with a couple of friends.  We were walking and talking. Not paying much attention to what was around us, when I stepped right into a large pile of dog poo.  On MY street, ON the pavement, not even on the grass.  I didn’t find it amusing.  My friends, they laughed their asses off for a good 15 minutes.

I decided to count the piles yesterday on my regular 3 mile walk.  I stopped counting at 15.  Now, I’m no mathematician, but I do believe that comes out to about one and a half piles per 1/2 mile. And I stopped counting.  So I’m sure I missed some.  I never noticed how different each dog poo is. They come in all colors, shapes and sizes.  Just a little fact in case you didn’t know.


Look, I know dogs have to go.  It’s a natural function for most living things, but really?  I know they make dog poop bags because I’ve seen people with them.  And if you don’t want to purchase them, I’m sure a baggie will work just fine. Or a garbage bag.  Or a shopping bag.  I’m sure you people have some sort of bag in your home.  Use it.  You wouldn’t relieve yourself in the middle of the road and leave it, would you?  What makes you think a dog’s poop is any better?

So, DH has been forced to nail these lovelies to the line of trees in our front yard:

photoNot so attractive, I know.  But it is effective.  We have had not one dog poop in our yard since. Here’s the thing, I really see no reason why we have to remind grown adults not to allow their dog to use our grass as their toilet.  I’m pretty sure if a dog owner allows their dog to use THEIR yard as a toilet, they would clean it up.  We had a dog for about 20 seconds when we were first married, and ne’er a poop left behind.

If I could shame just one non-poop picker upper reading this to start using doggie bags, I have done my job.  Thank you and you’re welcome.


2 Replies to “Oh Poop”

  1. well said my friend! entertaining, but so true. i would have said “you lazy s–‘s of b—-‘s, pick up after your f—ing dog’s”

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