Snow Bored-ing

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I was bored during the storm today.  I figured I probably should try to actually do something before I developed hemorrhoids from sitting on the couch for too long.  So, I decided to google what to do during a blizzard.  Here were the top 10 suggestions and why they just weren’t going to work out for me:

1)  Shovel – that’s what I have a husband for.
2)  Build a snowman – that’s what I have a kid for.
3)  Sit by the fire – Since the kindling is buried in half a foot of snow, that doesn’t appear to be happening.
4)  Go sledding – I like my head in one piece, thank you very much.  Besides, I’ll probably just pee my pants.  Watch out for the yellow snow!  Sorry.  I couldn’t resist.
5)  Watch TV – No shit Sherlock.  That’s why I’m googling what to do during a blizzard.
6)  Go exploring – Do they think my name is Lewis?  Or Clark?  I don’t know.  Do you see a resemblance?
Lewis and Clark

Lewis and Clark

Me

Me

7)  Cook something –  Hahahahahahahahahaha!  Yeah, right.
8)  Organize your home – Organize my hmmm?  What?  I’m sorry I don’t understand the question.
9)  Play games – Monopoly sucks the life out of me.  Clue?  Mr. Mustard in the Billiard room with the candle stick.  Same shit. Different day.
10) Call a friend – Nah, they are all better mothers than I am and are probably out doing something fun in the snow with their children.  Those bitches are always trying to make me look bad.

 

Oh well.  I tried.  I hope they get the roads cleared soon.  I need to go get some Preparation H.

 

Mo
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