Someone posted this on Facebook the other day:
And I thought, “holy crap, no kidding.” I can’t even begin to imagine it. I probably would have spent more time in the principal’s office, rehab or even been shipped off to Military School had my parents known the half of it.
Being a teenager 30 years ago is pretty much the same as being a teenager now. The difference is we didn’t get caught (as often). We had ways of intercepting the dreaded phone call from the school secretary claiming we didn’t show up for Math Class. If we told a “friend” a secret, it took more than 3 minutes to circulate our school and the surrounding towns. And hiding bad grades? Damn, I was an expert at that. I would have been screwed if my mom and dad had access to a “Parent Portal.”
Kids today can’t do anything fun without going to great lengths to keep it hidden. I could, as well as most anyone, pretty much write a book on all the mishaps of my teen years. And I may. But for now, here are just a few:
- Doing donuts on Lake Mahopac in January in a friend’s car. With NO seatbelt. Not that a seatbelt will save you as your car breaks through and you sink to the bottom of an icy abyss.
- Driving an abandoned vehicle in a field. With shards of glass flying in my face from the remains of a smashed out windshield.
- Driving to the edge of a cliff to see how close we could get without going over. (By now you get that I enjoyed doing crazy car crap. My insides are creeping out just thinking about it.)
- Drinking beer at the A&P until midnight when my parents thought their sweet girl was at the movies with Heidi. If Facebook existed, I’m pretty sure one of the friends I hung out with would have tagged me. Completely blowing my cover.
- Cutting class. Well, there most likely would have been some kind of page dedicated just for “Mo’s Skipped Classes.” And what I did while cutting class? It would have gone viral for sure.
- The time I threw Mickey Dee’s BBQ sauce in the face of an ex pretty much stayed in the Mickey Dee’s. Or else peeps would still be talking about it, right?
- The vomit I spewed onto my boyfriend’s driveway got hosed away into the grass and that is where it stayed. Not on some cell phone camera for the class of 1986 and beyond to see for their viewing pleasure.
If I knew half the shit I did would be out in cyberspace, I may think twice. Or not. I just thank god I wasn’t bred in this generation. The half-brain I possessed would not have had the ability to filter out the good from the bad. Unfortunately, only part of me has grown up. Every day, I have to put forward a real effort to not do or say anything stupid. I wish filters were as readily available as Youtube. The world would be a better place, wouldn’t it?