Tag Archives: be accountable

Who Are You?

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Have you ever sat and wondered about yourself?  Like, who you are?  Who you really are?  For the most part, we are good people.  Well, except for the murderers, the rapists, the child molesters, the drug dealers.  But most of us are good.  Even as good people, we have flaws.  We’re all a bit judgemental.  We’re all a little jealous.  We’re all a little mean at times.  And we women?  Damn, we can be downright catty.  But that’s another story, for another time.

There is this chick I knew, who seemed to have alienated a lot of her friends.  I remember hearing her talk about how horrible people were to her.  She complained about her co-workers, family members, friends, teachers.  At first, I felt for this poor woman.  Because she seemed so cool and fun otherwise.  “How can people be so mean to her?  She’s pretty awesome,” I used to think.  I actually really, really liked her.  But the complaining never ended.  It seemed that she was always the victim.  Everyone was always out to get her.  And then she alienated my family.  It took a long time, but I finally saw that it wasn’t everybody else.  It was her.  I saw it, a lot of other people saw it.  She did not.  And unfortunately, continues to not see it.

Here’s my question:  When is it in a person’s life that we wake up and say, “gee, maybe it’s me?”  For some, it does happen.  For others, they will always remain the victim and never see the error of their ways.  And that’s sad.  It seems like a downright waste of time.  To go through life being a victim, being angry, holding grudges.  Not to mention all the bad energy you expel.  It can’t be good for the environment.

About a year ago, I sat down and asked myself a question.  Why would someone not like me?  Typically, I don’t really care if someone likes me or not.  I mean, if I’m a good person and mean well, right?  I am aware that I’m a little obnoxious and completely inappropriate.  I’m loud.  Sometimes I leave my filter at home.  But that is me.  If someone doesn’t like it, that’s fine.  I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.  I get that.

But I can be hurtful.  Maybe not so much on purpose.  Maybe sometimes yes, on purpose, if I’m being honest here.  For example, I’ve given my opinion when my opinion wasn’t asked for.  I realize my mistakes.  I’ve corrected them.  I try to keep the filter closely attached to my trap.  I am accountable for my actions.  Sure, I’m still loud, obnoxious and inappropriate.  That’s just me.  But I really do try to pay attention to how I come off when I feel the need to judge someone else.  Because no one has a right to judge.  Unless you are perfect.  And there is no such thing.  My parents always told me so.  And I believe them.

I’m just saying, take the time to reevaluate yourself.  Have you been unkind?  Have you said something not so nice to someone or about someone?  Are you feeling like a victim all the time?  Step back and take a look at yourself instead of everyone else around you.  I understand that sometimes, these feelings may be legitimate.  But sometimes, they are not.  If it’s a pattern, you may very well be the problem.

We all make mistakes.  But please, for the good of all mankind, can you just call yourself out on it?  Be accountable?  I try.  And I’m a better person because of it.  Hey, I slip up.  But I reel myself back in.  Being human can suck.  But let’s just try to be as real as possible.  The world would be a much better place.