Remember my post on January 22nd about how I gained a bale of hay? Well guess what? I’ve started to lose some of that bale of hay. How do I know? Let me count the ways:
- I can actually get my wedding bands off without the use of motor oil.
- When I sit, people don’t rush up to me asking when the bakery opens.
- I now only have enough chins to share with 1 other person instead of 4. Sorry people. I am a registered organ donor, not a body part donor.
- I can fit a kitten in my bra, WITH my boobs in it.
- On the subject of bras…they now ride up on me. Even on the tightest setting. That poses a real problem at My Retail Job.
- I no longer need a shoe horn to get into my jeans.
- When I walk across the floor, objects don’t fall off the dresser.
- I haven’t been mistaken for a Chicago Bears Linebacker from behind in quite some time now.
- There is a dot of light coming through between the upper part of my thighs. Enough to light the head of a pin. But light just the same.
- My arms stop waving about 3 seconds sooner than before.
It would seem that I have lost the size of a bowling ball that is used by an average adult male. I don’t know. I think that’s pretty cool. And that bowling ball is staying where it belongs…in the lane, the alley, the gutter. Wherever. Just not on me. I’m good with that. I’m happy with that. So happy, I could go bowling.