I was on Facebook today and I saw that a friend posted this article about the dangers of drinking. Here is the headline:
Even Moderate Drinking Linked to Increased Cancer Risk
Oh dear God. If this is true, then I am a dead woman. Basically, the article talks some shit about how even having a glass of wine a day can increase your risk of getting cancer by, well, a lot.
I am one of those people who has a glass of wine every night. Ok, maybe not EVERY night. Let’s say the average month consists of 30 days. I drink wine about 28 days a month. And about 22 of those days I have more than just one glass. The odds are not in my favor.
So here I was using the excuse to drink red wine because it was really good for your heart and since I have high cholesterol I thought it was great because I would just have a glass of wine with my steak (total run-on sentence — sorry). Except now the cancer risk outweighs the heart healthy part.
It’s funny because my mom has been telling me for years about this cancer/alcohol link. I pretty much just roll my eyes and open a bottle of my favorite Cabernet. You have to understand something about my mom. She reads everything and watches CNN like it’s the only show on TV. So, every “new” development that comes up, which is pretty much every day, I’m sure to know about it. The most ridiculous thing like breathing can cause lung cancer. Ok, I’m kidding. But shit, everything gives us cancer these days.
If I listened to everything my mom told me, here are the things I would have to give up:
- Cooked meat – Have you ever had an uncooked hamburger? Yum. Watch out for those tape worms though.
- Sun – An oldie but a goodie. Slather on that lotion. Or be pale and cold. Your choice.
- Mouthwash – In lieu of the recent study, this one should be a no brainer.
- Vitamins – Yup. This is a new one. Those antioxidants are serious bad boys.
- Body lotion – Yes, even body lotion. It can cause breast cancer believe it or not. So, do we slather on lotion to avoid skin cancer, or go out in the sun without it to avoid breast cancer?
- Alcoholic beverages – I have nothing to say except it just sucks.
So anyway, now that I’ve actually seen it in words, I’m suddenly freaked out. Like, really freaked out. I even went out to lunch with the family today and didn’t order a glass of wine. That’s unheard of. For some reason, I think any time I sit in a restaurant there is this rule that I have to drink wine. So, I ordered water and I didn’t actually die.
Ok, so I can give up body lotion and mouthwash. But wine? There are no words. I think I’m in mourning. I’ll start my mourning on Monday, with my New Year’s Resolutions.