I am frugal. No, let me rephrase. I am cheap. I am the type of person who cringes when DH takes more than 1 paper towel to dry his hands. I sit there and watch him while he grabs at the roll and just keeps pulling on it while 3, 4 and 5 sheets go by. He could be talking to me, but I don’t hear him because I am dying inside. Staring at the diminishing roll. Biting my nails. Wondering when he’s going to stop. I could say it’s because I’m worried about the environment. But that would be a lie. It’s because with every sheet, I see money being thrown out the window.
When I reach the end of a shampoo or lotion bottle, I will set it upside down and use every loving drop of it. I will stick my finger in there and swipe at whatever is left. Bang the bottle on the countertop to get every last drip to come out. And I mean EVERY.LAST.DRIP. My favorite game is to guess how many more uses I can get out of a container before I have to open a new one.
We know a woman who has been a friend of the family for forever. She is an older version of me in more ways than one. She cuts her shampoo bottles in half so that she can use every bit. Everyone thinks it’s funny. Me? I think it’s the best idea since, like…ever. I got four more shampoos out of my last bottle because of her. I’ll have to thank her next time I see her.
I refuse to buy anything that isn’t on sale. Even though the sign says “4 for a dollar”, I will buy one because that’s all I need at the moment. I would prefer to buy store brand, but DH seems to know the difference so I can’t. It kills me.
Yet, somehow I manage to spend every penny I have in my wallet. I could start the week with $100 and in two days, it’s gone. Don’t ask me. I guess I am what you would call an oxymoron. Oh well. So, who wants to go out for lunch? You buying?