happy new year Archives

January 8, 2023January 11, 2023

Happy New Year (aka Our Family Christmas Letter – Volume 9).

Disclaimer: I have always taken pride in my ability to be on time for pretty much everything in my life, so I am slightly embarrassed that my Christmas Letter is now a New Year’s Letter. But you’ll have to excuse me. It’s been a rough year. When you read the following, pretend Christmas wasn’t ~~yesterday~~ ~~one~~ two weeks ago.

In case you were wondering how 2022 was in our household, let me just say when I look back on it, I am reminded of that time when I was twelve years old and a neighborhood boy shoved a stick in the spoke of my bike tire while I was riding it. But more on that later.

This was the first full year that things seemed to get back to normal since the pandemic. Although I’m glad it’s over, some really good things were brought about because of it. Working from home, Jehovah’s Witnesses keeping their distance, and online shopping to name a few.

I know you think you have singlehandedly kept Amazon in business but you would be wrong. It was us. I can prove it because we have built a second home in Barbados with the cardboard boxes.

Our only child got engaged over the summer. Planning a wedding is tons of fun until you realize that everything you might buy for a backyard BBQ has been increased by 1000% in price just because you call it a “wedding.” I realize it may be too late for me, but I might try to change professions. If I’m successful, I’ll be able to laminate our vacation home.

We love our future son-in-law and are so happy to have him be officially part of our little family. I have always wanted a son. Except this is way better. We didn’t have to pay for his college.

Dear Husband hasn’t had the best year. He crashed his beloved sports car this past spring and has had a bit of an unplanned hiccup regarding his health. Then instead of increasing his health insurance he bought a new sports car. This car is not just any car. This car makes him happy. Happier than I make him I’m afraid. But it’s ok. I mean, it does go zero to sixty in 4.5 seconds. I haven’t been able to do that since 1998.

As for me, I’ve declared that I’m falling apart. I finally broke down and had the rotator cuff surgery I’ve been putting off for years. It’s my dominant arm and the recuperation is really not going well. Brushing my teeth with my right hand is like using my feet. That were transplanted from a monkey. Who lost the use of his toes in a jungle incident involving a giraffe.

I added two medications to my daily routine of Pepcid, Vitamin D, and probiotics. They are called “statin” and “estrogen.” And I thought having children ages you? Cholesterol drugs, hormone therapy, joint repair, in addition to kids makes a cocktail you don’t want to ever mix, yet here I am.

I had a great year of really taking care of myself. I lost close to fifteen pounds and started exercising six days a week. Then I had the surgery that rendered me useless which, in turn, has reversed all my hard work. My left arm may be mimicking that of a maimed monkey but I’m not sure what my legs’ problem is. Sympathy pains, I suppose.

I have really been feeling pretty badly about things of late until I saw a port-a-potty flipped on its side in someone’s yard on my way home from getting my shingles vaccine today. The grass is always greener…

I’m sure I’m missing something but at this rate, if I remember anything else I’m afraid you may have to add Zoloft to the mix and I just don’t have the room in my pill box.

So, with that I will end this by saying I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year, my friends. If you happen to take a trip to the jungle don’t get into any fights with a giraffe.

January 3, 2016

Another Cliche Filled Blog Post About New Beginnings

I write this as I lie here nursing a hangover. Too many white chocolate martinis will do that to a person. I guess New Year’s Eve of 2009 taught me nothing.

It is now 2016. More than half the decade is behind us. This year I turn 49, have my 30th high school reunion and will be the mother of a college student.

Can you believe three gray hairs sprouted out of my head during the making of that last paragraph? It’s true.

It is also the year when if you write 2015 on your check you can easily change the 5 to a 6 (creds go to my 17 year old for pointing that out), but that’s just an extra perk.

Anyway, a few months ago I had one of those episodes where the breath gets sucked right out of your lungs, you start to sweat ice and your heart races at 783 beats per minute.

No, I didn’t get hit in the gut with a baseball. Or remembered that I forgot to DVR last night’s Grey’s Anatomy (yes, I am that obsessed). It was much worse than that.

I suddenly came to the realization that my life is half over (actually if I’m going to be accurate, midway probably came about five years ago but let’s not say that out loud).

I wasn’t freaked out that my life is more than half over. I was more terrified of the fact that there is so much I still need and want to do in my life. Somehow those first 48 years blew by with ne’er a stiff breeze.

I have experienced some wonderful things. I fell in love, became a mother and went to Ireland. I have a good life. I am generally happy. But is that enough? I realized my bucket is still pretty full. And having a full bucket is not the same as having a full glass or full belly. It isn’t satisfying.

What is in my bucket? Besides Clorox and hot water on cleaning day? I want to go to Italy, make love under the stars (ok so I did that once but I was 20 and drunk so it doesn’t count), and write a novel. Just to name a few.

I also want to be healthier (I understand that should be on the resolutions list but I’m lazy), volunteer more of my time to my community and fill my weekends with more than television and Candy Crush.

So, I have proclaimed 2016 to be my year (right along with about 10 million of you). What makes 2106 any different and special from the other years? I mean, I have been making myself Queen since 1995 and have done nothing but fallen off the throne halfway through January time and time again.

Because I realized my life is half over and there is literally no more time to f*ck around.

Life is fleeting and can change in an instant. I don’t want to be on my deathbed with regrets that I didn’t live my life to the best of my ability. That I didn’t accomplish the things that are important to me, or at least gave them a good fight.

So, welcome 2016. You are my year. I can’t wait to get started. Right after I take a shower.

January 4, 2015February 9, 2015

My New Year’s Resolutions That Are Meant To Be Accomplished, Maybe.

Happy 2015! Is it going to be happy? I sure hope so. I do hate when a new year starts though, really if only for the fact that it takes me 5 weeks to remember to write the new year on my checks.

If I’m being honest here, there is something else I hate about a new year: the dreaded Resolutions. They are tweeted and Facebook’ed about on the daily, declaring life changes for “real this time.”

You see the “I’m gonna lose 50 pounds this year” one day and 2 weeks later, that same person posts a selfie of them scarfing down a plate of fries at Red Robin (guilty as charged – uhh, bottomless fries — hello?).

With that being said, I am here to declare my New Year’s Resolutions to you. I have all good intentions. I really do. (“Good Intentions.” That counts for something, doesn’t it?)

I will try something new. That something new is Hot Yoga. I came, I conquered (sort of), I paid $20 for 2 weeks of unlimited classes. Prediction: after the 2 weeks is up, I will most likely not set one more painted toenail in a yoga studio – look for a post on that coming soon to a timeline near you.
I will come out of my comfort zone more than once this year. See #1. Also, by “comfort zone” do they mean to choose the salad bar over the raw bar at the local chinese buffet? Prediction: my natural ability to be lazy may take over my unnatural ability to leave the comfort of my cozy couch. I mean, come on man, it’s cold. And when it’s warm? I will be on the beach. Maybe I’ll set up my chair in a different spot.
I will lose 10 pounds. Repeat after me: I will lose 10 pounds. I will lose 10 pounds. Yes, I will lose 10 pounds. I will exercise 5-6 days a week and write down everysinglething I put in my mouth on the LoseIt! app on my iPhone. And I WILL lose 10 pounds. Prediction: I will revel in my svelte new figure that will be able to house the size 4 jeans without too much of a muffin top that fit the last time I lost 10 pounds. I will repeatedly swear I will never, ever gain weight again. This will last precisely 8 weeks or until the next family party (if you have met my family, then you understand what I mean). How do I know? It’s called deja vu.
I will spend time trying to gain new fans on my Facebook page. I will spend hours befriending other bloggers, swapping out “likes,” selling my first born so that I can reach into the double digits. Prediction: After about 2 weeks, I will realize that it’s just bullshit. Besides, it’s so much more fun to stalk people from high school instead. (Note: I really do love my blogger friends, but I love them for them, not to do favors for each other, well, unless we want to)
Think before I speak. Before I open my mouth, I will think about what I allow to come out of it. Prediction: I will forget to think.
I will take a writing course and develop my skills. Actually, here is one resolution that I hope to accomplish. I have signed up for a writing course which starts this Tuesday and lasts 6 weeks. Prediction: I will pass with flying colors and be the star of my class. Okay, maybe not the “star” but I will pass. I swear. Because I have $400 on the line and if I don’t, I would have wasted a good Christmas present. And you all know how I hate wasting.

So, there you have it. The Resolutions of ~~2014~~ 2015 according to Mo. Good luck to you all. I hope this year brings health, happiness and at least one accomplishment that you resolved to do. If you don’t? Eh. There’s always next year.

January 1, 2014

A New Year, A New Promise

First, I want to say Happy Anniversary to me! It was one year ago today that I started this journey of mine as Blog Writer. (Click here for my first blog post. It’s about some dirty ice and the runs.) Just so you know, I’m having so much fun and loving my new hobby. You know, in case you were wondering.

Second, I want to talk about the dreaded New Year’s Resolution. They suck. I stopped doing them years ago. Mainly because I was sick and tired of not following through. Because, let’s face it, I’m lazy. Isn’t it funny how many of us start off our New Year’s resolutions hung over? If that’s not bad enough, we have to remember to write the year correctly on all of our documents. Which, by the way, takes me about 6 months. And why do we wait until the beginning of a new year to make changes? I know for me, it’s just so I can buy more time. (“I’m giving up french fries. Oh, wait. I don’t need to do that now. I’ll do that in the new year. I have 7 months and 23 days left. Phew.”) But I digress. What was I talking about again?

Oh right. I hadn’t written (or thought of or told anyone) New Year’s resolutions for a long time. Until last year. I was not in a good place physically, which led to me being not in a good place mentally. Although I am a wife and mother, two roles that I love, I felt like I needed more. So, I wrote myself a little list. On that list included getting healthy, starting a blog and finding a job. Well, as you know, I started the blog on day numero uno. It took me another month (one month and 19 days to be exact) to start the getting healthy bit. And then another 3 months to find a job. Better late than never, right?

Because I had such a successful resolution year, I decided to have a go at it again this year. Here they are. It’s not a big list. Because quality is better than quantity. Besides, quantity is just too much unless you are talking about money or something. (Ok, ok, I know. I’m doing that cliche thing of sharing my boring promises. But you people keep me on the straight and narrow. If I don’t say it out loud, I’m afraid I won’t be accountable.)

Turn up the volume on the blog writing. Including going viral (I can do it…I know I can).
Volunteer my time to humanity. In other words, make a difference. Somewhere.
Be a better me. By “better” I mean think before I speak (this hasn’t worked in the past, but I’ll try again. In fact, I remember promising this exact resolution to myself when I was about 17…look where it has gotten me), be less judgmental, more conscious and get organized (see how I kinda snuck that last one in? I was going to have it be separate but it was just too overwhelming).

That’s it. Three (four) little things. Shouldn’t be too difficult to accomplish, right? I’ll update you in 365 days to let you know how I did. So far, I’m sitting in bed writing this blog. Number one is on track. Last night, I’m pretty sure I said some stupid stuff after my second Cosmo. Which means that perhaps I’m not heading in the right direction for #3. Oh, but that was last night. So it doesn’t count. At this point, I’m just rambling. So, Happy 2014 everyone! I hope all of your dreams come true! And thanks for being here. I couldn’t do it without you. Peace, love and happiness.

February 1, 2013November 10, 2013

Broken Promises

Happy New Year! Or should I say Happy First Month of the New Year! Like many, I wrote a list of new year’s resolutions for myself. It looks like this:

Start a blog
Get a real job
Eat more fruits and vegetables
Eat less
Exercise more
Lose weight

Honestly, I don’t think that’s too much to ask of myself. So, it has been exactly one month and this is what I have accomplished:

Start a Blog – Well, yes. I did. Yay for me.
Get a real job – Um, I’ve sent in my resume to 2 places and tried to teach myself PowerPoint. Does that count?
Eat more fruits and veggies – If you count wine as a fruit, then resolution partially achieved. If not, then….no.
Eat less – Actually I’ve stopped grazing like a damn cow all day. Ok, maybe I haven’t stopped exactly. Let’s just say I’ve decreased the grazing a bit. That is less, right?
Exercise more – I should rephrase that to say “exercise.” I went for a walk on January 30th. Unless I continue to do so, that would be a big fat N-O.
Lose weight – Since I basically failed at 3, 4 and 5, I guess it’s obvious what the answer is to #6.

About 3 years ago, I stopped making new year’s resolutions. Because this is what inevitably happens. I barely make it past day #1. I guess because my list looks about the same every year and let’s face it, this girl likes her food. And more than 1/2 of my resolutions pretty much involve food or the act of reducing food.

But this year was going to be different. I was so sick of walking by those damn store mirrors and catching a glimpse of myself and being startled because that woman looks like me but couldn’t possibly be. What I really should have as a resolution is to stop looking at myself in store mirrors. Stupid store mirrors. Those suckers ought to make us look like we lost 10 pounds, not gained 10 pounds.

So, instead of tossing the entire list out the window, I am going to start again today. I’ll let you know how I’m doing in a month. Do Bloody Mary’s count as a veggie?