Tag Archives: iphone

Look At Me When You Text

text and walkThere is this chick in my neighborhood who walks every single day.  Up this humongous hill that I have walked up (even run up in the day I was able to…sniff, sniff), but not without losing a lung.  She goes up and down over and over again.  This chick is in pretty good shape.  Walking up the hill of death would do that to you, I guess.

Anyway, we all know exercise can be rough.  It kinda sucks.  I do it because I really need my ass to stay as close to its original birthplace for as long as I can possibly keep it there and I also really hate the sound of my thighs rubbing together.  It’s a necessity at my age.

I carry one thing with me on my walk: my iPhone.  This is for a couple of reasons:

1) In the event I need to dial “911” in case some kook tries to steal me (because who wouldn’t want this, right?) or in case a coyote finds me delicious.  Yes, I actually imagine myself in an emergency situation and wonder how I would dial my phone while being eaten alive by wildlife.  In my brain, it doesn’t seem easy.  I also wonder if I would be able to climb a tree to get away.  This thought is followed up by another thought:  would this animal be able to also climb said tree?  Such a problem.  Wait…why do I exercise again?  Oh right, ass.

2) I cannot do an ounce of exercise without my beloved playlist playing through my earbuds. It just makes it that much less painful.  But I do not text and walk.  Okay, so that’s a lie.  I did last week.  Once.  Because once was enough after I realized that I cannot walk, look down and text at the same time without veering off into the middle of the street.  My walk quickly turned into a good game of “Chicken.”

So, anyway, my point was that this humongous-hill-exercising chick texts.  She does.  No, I do not stalk her.  I know this because every time I go out in my car and see her walking, she is looking down and texting on her phone.  EVERY FREAKING TIME, I KID YOU NOT.  Now, this woman is not real young.  She looks to be at least in her fifties.  Not that that makes much of a difference, but she should know better.  Don’t text and drive should also be a motto for walkers.  I don’t mean to judge her.  Maybe I’m just jealous because it’s quite obvious that I cannot do the two at once.  Maybe, also, I would like to know who she’s texting and what they are talking about.  It’s got to be intriguing, right?

Yesterday, The Kid and I ran into DSW and we noticed a young girl texting and walking through the parking lot.  I see this all the time.  The Kid actually pointed it out.  “Look mom, look at that girl texting while she is walking through the parking lot.”  “Pfffssh, can you imagine?”  I said to myself.  “Kid, who are you kidding?  Sometimes I feel like I need a chisel to get that little device out of your hands.”  Right.  Whatever.

I am in my late forties, okay?  I was brought up in an era where if we needed to get a message to someone, we had to use smoke signals.  No, no, just kidding.  But we did have two options:  a pay phone, or a phone that was attached to the wall in the kitchen with a 30 foot long curly cord that would reach down the hall and into the bathroom so that you could have privacy.  That’s it.

So, what happened to me?  Today, I find myself behaving like some of these kids.  The family could be sitting around watching HGTV and there I am.  Texting someone, checking Facebook or my junk email (because I only get junk email, can someone send me something legit?  Please?).  DH often asks me what I’m doing and if I can put my phone down please?  I sometimes even get a headache from it.  It’s so stupid.

This post has gone a bit off kilter here (what else is new?).  I’m trying to say that we are missing so much around us.  I know this isn’t new.  I’ve seen the Facebook status’ and memes and videos about it.  Everything that is going on around us is being missed because we can’t get our heads out of our phones.  It’s a problem.  For some, it’s worse than others.  I know the friends who don’t do it. Those are the ones who you text and it takes them 13 days to get back to you.  (Gawd, don’t they just annoy you???  I mean, who do they think they?  Having a life?)

So, I stand (or sit) here and declare that I am going to put my phone away.  I don’t want to miss anything else.  Especially what house they picked on House Hunters.  If you text me and I don’t get back to you right away, that’s why.  But if I do get back to you right away?  Well, it’s because I  just happened to have my phone on the table next to me by accident.

 

Every Day I’m Shuffling

ae450b06ba2a35ccf161288f43662f92b2

In keeping with the “music” theme, I want to discuss iPods, MP3 players and smart phones. Specifically the shuffle feature.  As you all know (because I’ve made it perfectly clear) I love music.  Not only do I like to sing to it, but I like to listen to it.  While exercising, cleaning the house, driving the car, shopping.  (Shop Rite has some great music.  It does make the act of grocery shopping a bit less painful.  But just a bit.)

I would love to love the shuffle option but I don’t.  The concept is awesome on paper.  I have about 450 songs on my iPhone.  Yet somehow the device plays the same 50 or so.  Actually, I think it’s less than that.  With a random one thrown in there to keep me from bitching.  But mostly the same songs over and over and over again.  I often have to resort to hitting the “next” button a million times before I land on one I haven’t heard in a while.  And when I say “a while” I mean in the last 2 weeks.  When I peruse my playlist there are some great songs that I haven’t heard in ages.  But who wants to sit there and handpick every song?  Ain’t nobody got time for that.

So anyway, I thought it was my phone.  But then the same thing happens on my iPod and MP3 players.  Sometimes I even hear the same song two or three times in one listening session.  So my nice relaxing walk turns into a walk of frustration.  I may love it, but I don’t need to hear “These Boots Are Made for Walking” every 10 minutes.  What it should be is “these boots are made for smashing you to smithereens if you don’t play a damn different song.”  And one I haven’t heard within the last 14 days would be simply divine.  Thank you very much.

So, hear this all you digital music gadgets — you better shape up.  Please don’t make me resort to pulling out my Walkman.  Because I will dig up my old cassette tapes.  And it won’t be pretty. Unless you like Purple Rain.  Damn, Prince sure could rock those heels!

I Love You, I Love You Not.

Unknown-4

Remember when we were kids and we had to do a “research” paper on George Washington?  You ran to the living room shelf in hopes that your mom bought enough groceries that week to score the W-Z of the Funk & Wagnall Encyclopedia set so you could read up on the old goat.  It took her a year to acquire the entire set.  Only for it to be obsolete by the end of 7th grade.  We had to eat a lot of spaghetti and sloppy joe’s to stay updated.

Basically everyone in your class turned in the same paper.  Plagiarism wasn’t allowed back then either, so we took the most important facts from the 5 paragraphs we had available to us, flipped the words around and wrote something down.  If we were lucky, either mom drove us or we rode our bikes over to the library for a little more in-depth research.  Those lucky kids received an automatic “A.”

Technology today definitely has its pros and cons.  One pro is that our kids have the world at their fingertips when it comes to research.  We get to save on gas by not having to drive them across town to the library.  If I didn’t have our weekly jaunt to the library when the kid was little, I’m not sure she would even know how the place works.  Remember the Dewey Decimal System?  I believe that is as defunct as the free grocery store encyclopedia.

Unknown-3Another pro about technology is when we are able to settle a bet.   I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a disagreement with DH about who that special guest star is on a rerun of “Charlie’s Angels.”  And putting an end to the argument in a matter of seconds with the flick of some fingers.  It’s awesome.

What I absolutely do not like about today’s technology is our lack of privacy.  News about one person can travel faster than Road Runner on speed.  It’s also not so good if you are trying to self-diagnose yourself.  Once I was sure I had Barrett’s Esophagus when really I just had too many jalapenos in my tacos.  Just stick to a real doctor.  Chances are you are going to live.

That’s basically how I feel about it all in a nutshell.  Okay, I gotta go.  I have to go Tweet about what I’m doing right now.  Oh, and Facebook some photos of myself.

I Am An Addict

Holy crap, I’m obsessed.  I can’t stop.  And I don’t know what to do about it.

The game is called “Scramble.”  Not Scrabble.  Scramble.  The little word game that comes in the form of an app that you can download to your smartphone.  The object is to make as many words as possible in 2 minutes and try to beat your opponent.

I know I have a problem.  Here is a small list of why I think so:

  1. When I should be cleaning the house, but I’m not.  I’m playing Scramble.
  2. Dinner needs to be put on the table.  But it’s not.  I’m playing Scramble.
  3. I should be asleep but I’m not.  Until 1am, I’m playing Scramble.
  4. The kid is speaking to me.  Do I hear her?  No, because I’m playing Scramble.
  5. I should be spending quality time with DH.  The kid is in bed.  We are sharing a bottle of wine.  But I don’t pay attention to him.  Because I’m playing Scramble.
  6. In the car.  Actually, no.  I don’t play in the car because it makes me dizzy.

The really fun part is I can spell bad words.  Like Ass, Shit, Shat and Damn.  It’s so much fun when I can spell out a bad word.  It’s like that thrill you get when you spell a word out with the numbers on a calculator.  hELL.  Ooh, what a rush.

There is a downside though.  This is what I see when I close my eyes:

photo

I lie there imagining words that I can make.  Sometimes I can’t turn it off.  Sometimes it drives me so crazy I could just about jump off the nearest bridge.  It’s like hearing Roseanne Barr singing one verse of the National Anthem over and over again in your head.

There are a couple of die hards that I play with.  I sit and play and wait for my opponents to take their turn.  Sometimes it can take hours.  What happened?  Are they sick?  Did they get hit by a bus?  Where are they???  Come on people, you’re killing me…..

The kid keeps asking me when I’m going to get sick of it.  Like Facebook, it’s so “yesterday.”  I’m like a crack whore.  I won’t get sick of it.  I can’t get enough.  Ooh, wait.  What’s this “Ruzzle” game all about?  Hmmm.  Maybe I should check it out.