Things I Learned/Saw On Mommy’s Day Out

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Happy Birthday To Us!

I love the city.  I think I was a city girl in a previous life.  I could live there.  I could work there.  It’s as if I have been displaced.  There is nothing about the city I dislike.  Well, except maybe Times Square.

Every time I go, I learn something new.  It’s kinda like your spouse.  You could be together for 26 years and think you know it all, then discover something new about them.  It’s kind of cool.

Yesterday I went into the Big Apple with my best girlfriend.  It was a combo birthday celebration. Her birthday is March, mine is April.  It was a perfect day.  Here are some things we saw and/or learned:

  • That men like to drink beer on the train at 9am.  We did not get the memo.  But we are not men.  So, well, never mind.

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  • You excitedly and spur of the moment purchase tickets to see an off-broadway play called “Happy Birthday” because you think it just has to be, and then realize you made a mistake when no one there is under the age of 70.  4 words:  Read The Reviews First.
  • The cops on Canal Street are on to the vendors.  And the vendors have no problem snatching a bag out of your hand and pushing you out the door if one shows up.
  • That you will feel like a druggy if you spend too much time on Canal Street.  If you’ve ever been, you know what I mean.
  • That the lady ticket taker on the train hates her job and she lets you know it by slamming her big booty into you every time she walks past your seat.
  • New Yorkers don’t like it when you text during a play.  Even if it was just once.  Inside your purse.  And aren’t afraid to let you know it in their very nice New York’ish way.
  • Gay men like to be open about their sexuality.  Like really open.
  • Complete strangers of the female persuasion have no problem asking if you will give them a back massage.  I think they were with the gay men.
  • When you buy knock-off Tory Burch flats, make sure you look at them before you travel 2 hours to go back home.
  • Chinatown has practically taken over Little Italy.  What’s a girl gotta do to get some fresh pasta around here? (Yes, I blew the diet. But it was for a good cause.)
  • Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. plays “Forrest Gump” continuously on their TVs.  The bartenders hate it. What the bartenders don’t hate is making one kick-ass Hurricane.  (Warning: the food sucks so just go for the Hurricanes which is what we did.)
  • Drug addicts coming down from heroin like to sleep on the subway standing up and they use each other for support.  Aww, how cute. (Not that I know what coming down from heroin looks like, but if they were coming down from heroin, that’s what I believe it would look like.)
  • “Smith’s Bar” makes the best nachos and margaritas (I TOTALLY blew the diet).  Who knew?  $5 drinks during happy hour. Well, except the margaritas. Of course.

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  • You will blow through $200 in 30 seconds.  But I already knew that.  Just sayin’.

So, in a nutshell, I love me my NYC and hope to continue to learn new things about her.  Who wants to go for some Bubba Gump Hurricanes?  I’m buying.