I was born of a mother who has a Type A personality. I would even venture to say she is Type A+. Even though it probably doesn’t exist. But it has to exist because she is one. I swear it. Me on the other hand? Type B—. Triple negative. My Type B is so Type B I’m almost dead. Well, not really. Because that’s a little morbid. But you get my point.
After I quit My Retail Job, I thought it was a great time to catch up on all that I let slide because I just didn’t have the time. I started by making a list. These lists have lists. Then I took a calendar, a beautiful calendar that a good friend made, and wrote what I will do every single day. Good start, right?
Two words: Major Fail. Why is this happening to me? Then I remembered what my good friend who made the calendar said to me once. “You are not a list type of person.” And she’s right. I hate structure. I hate organization. I like to fly by the seat of my pants. I could have a full day of cleaning and organizing planned out and if a friend calls to meet for lunch? I’m out the door before she can even finish her sentence.
Does this just flat out mean I’m a procrastinator? Because I will put off and put off and put off until the cows come home. Even longer than that because the cows come home eventually. I have procrastinated so long that my projects have projects.
Now I am in a place where my brain is so over-whelmed that I think it has shut down to save itself from being fried. You know, short circuiting.
I don’t know where to start. I want to start. I do. So I can finish. And so I can turn my brain back on because I kind of need it. But I’m not a list person and I don’t know how to do it without one. See my problem?
I seriously feel like a dog chasing its tail. Call me Spot. “See Spot Run. Oh wait, what is Spot doing? He is chasing his tail. But, that is not how the story goes. Spot is ruining this story. We need a new Spot.” See? I told you my brain has shut off. I don’t make sense. How did Spot even get in my story?
I know. Like the Nike commercial says: “Just Do It.” Okay. Here I go. Oh heck. I’ll start next Monday. I’m just going to do what the calendar says to do. “Revel in my messiness.” I didn’t even notice that until yesterday. Looks like I wasted my time and ruined a perfectly good February.
All this procrastinating is making me sleepy. I’m going to take a nap. If you need me, flip the ON switch. It’s to the right of my … oh damn, where did I put that thing? Wait. This was supposed to be about procrastination. Not short term memory problems. I’m going back to bed. See you Monday.