A dear friend of mine recently became a Reiki Master. For anyone who doesn’t know what Reiki is, here is the official definition as taken from my google search:
“a healing technique based on the principle that the therapist can channel energy into the patient by means of touch, to activate the natural healing processes of the patient’s body and restore physical and emotional well-being.”
I know. It sounds like hocus-pocus medicine man witchery. But in my opinion it is not. Our bodies, the universe, everything, is made up of energy. So really, it makes sense. But I’m not here to discuss whether you believe in these practices or not. I am here to tell you my experience in the only way I know how. My way.
My dear friend wanted to perform Reiki on my bad knee. Actually, I should say on my “healing” knee. Because I’m seriously hoping it’s not bad any more. It better not be after this bull poo I went through the last couple of weeks. It’s ridiculous. I would rather birth 10 more babies than do this again. Okay, so maybe that’s not true. Birthing babies kinda really sucks. But I digress.
I’ve never had Reiki performed on me. So, I went in a little worried that I wouldn’t do it right. Even though I wasn’t going to be doing the “it.” The first thing my friend, and I’ll call her “Dee”, said is that I need to think of what the intention of the session is, relax my mind, call for my guides, God and/or Jesus to assist (or something like that). Well, anyone who knows me, knows that I am unable to relax my mind. I’m not talking about relaxing my mind of all the stressful, crazy crap in life. Because honestly, I really don’t worry about that. Just ask DH. I basically have a very difficult time focusing. Period. I think I am one of those undiagnosed ADD adult people. In fact, I must be. There are so many reasons why I think so. But again, I digress.
The space was beautiful. I really love that word “space.” I don’t know why. It’s just…cool. The music was calming. Warm. So I laid down and allowed Dee to do her work. I think I started out okay. Here is pretty much the conversation I was having with myself, inside my head which is supposed to be kinda empty at this point:
“(inhale, exhale) okay, I am focusing on my knee, feel the light surrounding it, let me see…ok I’ll visualize the inside of what my knee looks like. Loosen up, scar tissue. Be free. Mmm, what is that scent? I think it may be lavender? OMG, that is my fave! oh, poop. Focus. Knee, knee, knee. Ummm, please let my knee heal. I wonder if I’m doing this right? I hope Dee can’t read my mind or that her guides snitch on me. That would be so mean. Those tattletalers. Oh wait, I forgot to ask for God’s help. Dear God, please come help Dee and me pull bad energy out of my body. Wait. Where should I visualize the bad energy going? Through my head? But then it will go by my heart. Is that bad? Maybe it should go through my eyeballs, ears and nose? I mean, does it need to go out a hole? Oh, my feet are closest though. Lord I hope it doesn’t go through poor Dee. Does she really need my bad energy? Speaking of which…Lord, please help me heal. And spirit guides, if you’re listening, you help too. I really need to stop by the liquor store for some wine. I wonder what book I should read next? Ugh, I hope the dollar store has baskets because otherwise those mothers can be expensive. I love the dollar store. I really should start buying my cleaning supplies there. Do you know how much money I could save? I think I’ll blog about this. I wish I could take notes. Oh, darn. I’m doing it again. Knee, knee, knee. Go out of me swelling and pain. Vanish. I didn’t poop today. I hope I don’t fluff right here on this table. I will just die. Oh, but it’s only Dee, she’ll understand. Fudge. Oh, sorry. That probably wasn’t the best choice of word at this moment. I’m sorry God. Hey God, please help. Ok, let me visualize all that ugly swelling in my joint dissipating. I wonder if Dee will give me bad feedback. What if she feels that I have something wrong with me. OMG. Speaking of knees, I haven’t done my exercises today. Boy is my therapist going to be mad at me. I’m such a bad patient. I think everybody is sick of my drama by now. Freaking A-Balls…KNEE, KNEE, KNEE. THINK ABOUT YOUR FRICKIN’ KNEE DANGIT!!! We would look so weird if we didn’t have necks, wouldn’t we?”
And with that, it was over. 30 minutes gone in a blink of an eye and some serious brain chatter. But all kidding aside, it was a wonderful experience. I was completely relaxed (except my brain, but that’s my own fault). I felt heat in my knee and felt a zing here and a zing there. I literally got up off that table and felt more flexible. Seriously. It feel good. Really good. And guess what? I practically ran down the stairs, using BOTH my legs when I got home. That right there is a bonus because until today, it has basically taken me about 2.4 minutes to complete that task. Also at work, I was able to bend my knee. Like, really bend it. Total bonus #2 since it’s felt like I’ve had 2 pounds of cotton shoved in my knee joint for the last 2 weeks.
All in all, I would say it was a success. I think I’ll be going back. But this time, I will try to leave all that chatter at home. You do realize that if we didn’t have necks, it really wouldn’t be weird. But it would be weird if we, the un-necked species, imagined having necks…or would it?