There is this chick in my neighborhood who walks every single day. Up this humongous hill that I have walked up (even run up in the day I was able to…sniff, sniff), but not without losing a lung. She goes up and down over and over again. This chick is in pretty good shape. Walking up the hill of death would do that to you, I guess.
Anyway, we all know exercise can be rough. It kinda sucks. I do it because I really need my ass to stay as close to its original birthplace for as long as I can possibly keep it there and I also really hate the sound of my thighs rubbing together. It’s a necessity at my age.
I carry one thing with me on my walk: my iPhone. This is for a couple of reasons:
1) In the event I need to dial “911” in case some kook tries to steal me (because who wouldn’t want this, right?) or in case a coyote finds me delicious. Yes, I actually imagine myself in an emergency situation and wonder how I would dial my phone while being eaten alive by wildlife. In my brain, it doesn’t seem easy. I also wonder if I would be able to climb a tree to get away. This thought is followed up by another thought: would this animal be able to also climb said tree? Such a problem. Wait…why do I exercise again? Oh right, ass.
2) I cannot do an ounce of exercise without my beloved playlist playing through my earbuds. It just makes it that much less painful. But I do not text and walk. Okay, so that’s a lie. I did last week. Once. Because once was enough after I realized that I cannot walk, look down and text at the same time without veering off into the middle of the street. My walk quickly turned into a good game of “Chicken.”
So, anyway, my point was that this humongous-hill-exercising chick texts. She does. No, I do not stalk her. I know this because every time I go out in my car and see her walking, she is looking down and texting on her phone. EVERY FREAKING TIME, I KID YOU NOT. Now, this woman is not real young. She looks to be at least in her fifties. Not that that makes much of a difference, but she should know better. Don’t text and drive should also be a motto for walkers. I don’t mean to judge her. Maybe I’m just jealous because it’s quite obvious that I cannot do the two at once. Maybe, also, I would like to know who she’s texting and what they are talking about. It’s got to be intriguing, right?
Yesterday, The Kid and I ran into DSW and we noticed a young girl texting and walking through the parking lot. I see this all the time. The Kid actually pointed it out. “Look mom, look at that girl texting while she is walking through the parking lot.” “Pfffssh, can you imagine?” I said to myself. “Kid, who are you kidding? Sometimes I feel like I need a chisel to get that little device out of your hands.” Right. Whatever.
I am in my late forties, okay? I was brought up in an era where if we needed to get a message to someone, we had to use smoke signals. No, no, just kidding. But we did have two options: a pay phone, or a phone that was attached to the wall in the kitchen with a 30 foot long curly cord that would reach down the hall and into the bathroom so that you could have privacy. That’s it.
So, what happened to me? Today, I find myself behaving like some of these kids. The family could be sitting around watching HGTV and there I am. Texting someone, checking Facebook or my junk email (because I only get junk email, can someone send me something legit? Please?). DH often asks me what I’m doing and if I can put my phone down please? I sometimes even get a headache from it. It’s so stupid.
This post has gone a bit off kilter here (what else is new?). I’m trying to say that we are missing so much around us. I know this isn’t new. I’ve seen the Facebook status’ and memes and videos about it. Everything that is going on around us is being missed because we can’t get our heads out of our phones. It’s a problem. For some, it’s worse than others. I know the friends who don’t do it. Those are the ones who you text and it takes them 13 days to get back to you. (Gawd, don’t they just annoy you??? I mean, who do they think they? Having a life?)
So, I stand (or sit) here and declare that I am going to put my phone away. I don’t want to miss anything else. Especially what house they picked on House Hunters. If you text me and I don’t get back to you right away, that’s why. But if I do get back to you right away? Well, it’s because I just happened to have my phone on the table next to me by accident.