When I was a teen and was crushing on or dating a boy, I would wait with anticipation for the phone to ring. And when it did ring, no one in the house stood a chance. I would run, climb, claw my way to the phone before the second ring was halfway through. I would knock over a brother standing in my way if I had to. Then I would stand tethered to the wall while we had a conversation. An actual conversation. Where words were spoken. When the conversation ended and we said our good-byes, we hung up (“Hang up. No, you hang up. No, you hang up first. Okay, on the count of 3…”). It was that simple. And the boy always called me. It was never the other way around.
I am always telling the kid that she needs to have an air of mystery when it comes to boys. I don’t want her making the same mistakes I did. I would bend over backwards and make sure I was available. I would always answer the phone. Always be around. So my advice to her has always been to play a little hard to get. Be yourself, be kind. But don’t be so readily available. Make them work for you. Give them a little bit of a challenge. I mean, don’t be the queen of Iceland, but leave them wondering. Even if just a little.
There is a post that an author wrote recently. One of my Facebook friends shared it (click here to read it). Everything about this is smack-you-in-the-face true. Why didn’t it occur to me that in this day and age it is difficult to uphold an air of mystery? Nothing is sacred anymore. That being said, I have been approaching the whole thing incorrectly. And now, I’m afraid it’s a bit too late to fix. I was advising her as if we were living in the dark ages. I forgot about technology. I should have been taking a different approach. From a different angle. Now what the hell do I do? Take away her texting privileges? Good Lord, the girl would “totally die.” I think she’d rather have an arm cut off. It would take her twice the amount of time to text, but at least she could.
Like the article says, “conversations” don’t end. Until bed time or they literally cannot physically have their phone on them because of field hockey practice or dance class. For the love of God. It’s insane. I’m not so sure I could handle all this back and forth banter. It would be enough to drive me absolutely up a tree. She could have her best girlfriends over and I would go upstairs to her room to find them all sitting on the floor texting. Who are they texting? Who knows. Maybe each other. To avoid actually speaking. Because they don’t know how.
Well, I try to look at the bright side. At least I don’t have to fight with her over who gets to use the phone. And keeping an air of mystery? How about stop responding to a text within 4 seconds? At least make ’em wait 5 seconds. That should leave them guessing.Mo