We took a very last minute, spur of the moment, spring break vacation last week. We went down south to visit my parents and spent a few days in Myrtle Beach, SC. Just the kid and I. Poor DH was stuck working. Poor, poor working stiff.
Here are some things I learned/discovered on our little get-away that I thought were important enough to share with all of you:
- If it only fits 7 but they squeeze in 9, it’s not technically a “Limo.” Being a big-man sandwich is not my idea of a good time.
- Just because a meal of 2 salads and 2 drinks at the airport costs $58, doesn’t mean it’s good. It just means I’m a sucker. Period.
- It’s so much fun to play with the iPads in the airport terminal. Especially knowing that every germ from boogers, spit and who-knows-what-else from the 5,000 people per day who touch them is right at your fingertips.
- LaGuardia bathrooms supply us with 1 ply toilet paper. But don’t worry. If you are going to Raleigh-Durham, you will get 2 ply. My butt thanks you, North Carolina. So does my hand.
- No one else in the country seems to have spring break the same week as us. Which translates to having Zaxby’s all to ourselves. Totally and completely awesomeness.
- Eating nail polish chips will not kill you.
- My dad’s favorite attire consists of bathing shorts and crocks. Even if he is not going swimming. Dad, please keep that crap at home when you visit at Christmastime. Thank you very much.
- Clarifying lotion does not remove eye makeup. But it will cause burning and tearing so don’t try this at home.
- If you want to look at the ocean from a vantage point that puts you about 50 yards out over it, it will cost you a buck. And you can fish for your lunch. All for a buck. I’d say that beats my $58 salad. Wouldn’t you?
- You can leave the state park anytime during the day to get yourself a bucket of fried chicken. I know this because they said so.
- A low flying fighter jet is not a tsunami.
- If everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, wears a bikini, why can’t I?
- I don’t want to look at anyone’s thonged booty. I don’t care how young or cute it is.
- 2 year old sunscreen doesn’t work very well. Especially in the places where you don’t put it.
- Contrary to what my mother believes, her english-dutch skin will not tan the first time it is exposed to the seasonal sun without protection. I know you were going for the Kardashian look, mom. Sorry it didn’t quite work out for you.
- If you need a candy fix, wait until you can get to Walmart. Like the airport salad, just because a half pound of candy costs $7 doesn’t mean it’s good.
- Myrtle Beach is indeed family friendly. There is a “Girls, Girls, Girls” establishment right next to putt-putt golf.
- The next time an airline tells you that the flight is overbooked and ask that you give up your seat, don’t believe them. They are just using you.
- You probably shouldn’t buy a gift that has a pointy end and then try to bring it on a plane. Security could quite possibly think you will use it to gauge someone’s eyes out.
- I believe I may need therapy to get over my $58 salad.
Aside from my salad, our trip was very nice. But if you see me in a bikini this summer with a bucket of fried chicken, blame the southerners. They said I could.