To Pee or Not To Pee, That Is the Question

MjAxMi0zM2ViZDU4MzEwZjlkYTc3I love reading the local news stories.  Especially about stupid arrests that have been made.   A house was raided recently in a neighboring town.  What do you think they found?  Not cocaine.  Not marijuana.  Human urine.  300 gallons of it.  Huh.  I wonder if these containers were found by the bed.  Or the couch.  If so, I totally can relate. I have the same “Too Lazy To Get Up and Go To The Bathroom” disease.

If I had a dollar for every time I just walked right on by the bathroom when I had to pee because I was too lazy to actually go, I’d be able to self-fund my own lobotomy.  You know, take out the “lazy”?  It just doesn’t make any sense.  Why would I go and get all comfy on the couch to only have to get up sooner or later anyway.  Inevitably the urge gets too strong to wait any longer when I had the opportunity literally at my fingertips minutes ago.  That right there is piss-poor planning at its finest.  (Don’t pardon the pun.  I meant to say that.)  Sometimes I convince myself that if I wait long enough, I will empty TWO bladder-fulls so that I don’t have to get up TWICE.

Same thing is true when you wake up at 5 in the morning and you have to go so bad you are at risk of embarrassing yourself, seeing visions of the future dance through your head.   But you don’t get up.  You lay awake thinking that you really ought to get up.  Wasting precious moments of blissful sleep.  I have even layed there imagining myself walking to the bathroom.  Levitation may work for David Blaine but it sure doesn’t work for me.  I know this because I have tried.

My parting words to you:  just pee man.  Now as for taking my own advice?  I’ll try.  And the guy/woman with the bottles of urine?  What’s the big deal? In fact, thanks for the idea.

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