I bought a Powerball ticket the other day for the first time in my life. I’m not a gambler by nature. I hate wasting my money in those slot machines. So this is a big thing for me.
When I was a new mother, my husband sent me away for a much needed break to a casino with some friends, and I stayed up until 4am. All I won were some bags under my eyes and a hangover.
I nearly bit all my nails off the one time I played roulette. When I talked myself into buying a roll of quarters, I hung on to them in case I needed money for a parking spot. Or for the machines at the laundromat even though I had my own washer and dryer at home.
I don’t know when the first drawing for the Powerball was or how much it was for, but I missed it. But that’s okay because I don’t think I knew there even was a Powerball. Then someone at work told me how big it grew because no one had won it.
Of course, I acted like I knew what they were talking about, and then proceeded to walk myself right on over to the Starbucks in the building, broke down and spent two bucks on a ticket.
I thought, “Hmm, who knows? Maybe I’ll have beginner’s luck.” Although the odds are against me. Or anyone for that matter because not only did I not have the winning ticket (can you believe only six numbers were off?) but apparently no one else did either. Which brought the pot up to $1.3 billion.
First, let me tell you what your odds are. Or better yet, what you have a better chance of happening to you:
- Getting struck by lightning while drowning
- Being killed by an asteroid
- And my favorite: Having a vending machine fall on you
It’s been established that you stand a better chance of dying in a freak and rare accident than winning the Powerball.
So why partake? Because you just never know. And the investment is pretty low.
Anyway, what would I do if I won 1.3 billion dollars?
- For starters, I would pay the guy in the house behind us to stop running his damned wood chipper on Sunday mornings. He can’t possibly need small pieces of chopped up wood that badly.
- I would give money to my church. Mainly because I haven’t been in a couple years and that old Catholic guilt is rearing its ugly head even though I’m no longer Catholic.
- I would see a therapist about that old Catholic guilt.
- I would finally replace the carpet on our staircase. I’m pretty sure Mauve went out in the early 90s.
- I will give to every charity that did not cold call me during dinner time.
- I would buy a house with an in-law set up for that maid and cook I’ve always dreamed of.
Obviously, I could go on. But it would take a novel to list all the ways to spend 1.3 billion dollars.
So, am I going to play the Powerball this week? Yea, probably. Because my need to be included in everything far exceeds my need to hang on to two measely dollars.
Oh, but what I could buy with two dollars…Mo