Who Are You?


Have you ever sat and wondered about yourself?  Like, who you are?  Who you really are?  For the most part, we are good people.  Well, except for the murderers, the rapists, the child molesters, the drug dealers.  But most of us are good.  Even as good people, we have flaws.  We’re all a bit judgemental.  We’re all a little jealous.  We’re all a little mean at times.  And we women?  Damn, we can be downright catty.  But that’s another story, for another time.

There is this chick I knew, who seemed to have alienated a lot of her friends.  I remember hearing her talk about how horrible people were to her.  She complained about her co-workers, family members, friends, teachers.  At first, I felt for this poor woman.  Because she seemed so cool and fun otherwise.  “How can people be so mean to her?  She’s pretty awesome,” I used to think.  I actually really, really liked her.  But the complaining never ended.  It seemed that she was always the victim.  Everyone was always out to get her.  And then she alienated my family.  It took a long time, but I finally saw that it wasn’t everybody else.  It was her.  I saw it, a lot of other people saw it.  She did not.  And unfortunately, continues to not see it.

Here’s my question:  When is it in a person’s life that we wake up and say, “gee, maybe it’s me?”  For some, it does happen.  For others, they will always remain the victim and never see the error of their ways.  And that’s sad.  It seems like a downright waste of time.  To go through life being a victim, being angry, holding grudges.  Not to mention all the bad energy you expel.  It can’t be good for the environment.

About a year ago, I sat down and asked myself a question.  Why would someone not like me?  Typically, I don’t really care if someone likes me or not.  I mean, if I’m a good person and mean well, right?  I am aware that I’m a little obnoxious and completely inappropriate.  I’m loud.  Sometimes I leave my filter at home.  But that is me.  If someone doesn’t like it, that’s fine.  I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.  I get that.

But I can be hurtful.  Maybe not so much on purpose.  Maybe sometimes yes, on purpose, if I’m being honest here.  For example, I’ve given my opinion when my opinion wasn’t asked for.  I realize my mistakes.  I’ve corrected them.  I try to keep the filter closely attached to my trap.  I am accountable for my actions.  Sure, I’m still loud, obnoxious and inappropriate.  That’s just me.  But I really do try to pay attention to how I come off when I feel the need to judge someone else.  Because no one has a right to judge.  Unless you are perfect.  And there is no such thing.  My parents always told me so.  And I believe them.

I’m just saying, take the time to reevaluate yourself.  Have you been unkind?  Have you said something not so nice to someone or about someone?  Are you feeling like a victim all the time?  Step back and take a look at yourself instead of everyone else around you.  I understand that sometimes, these feelings may be legitimate.  But sometimes, they are not.  If it’s a pattern, you may very well be the problem.

We all make mistakes.  But please, for the good of all mankind, can you just call yourself out on it?  Be accountable?  I try.  And I’m a better person because of it.  Hey, I slip up.  But I reel myself back in.  Being human can suck.  But let’s just try to be as real as possible.  The world would be a much better place.

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4 Replies to “Who Are You?”

  1. That would be me. *sigh* The constant complainer. The one who seemed nice and awesome at first but then managed to alienate everyone with her snotty, uptight, bitchy ways.

    Realizing I did NOT want to end up alone and miserable like my dad I sought help in the form of medication and therapy. Still struggling but thankfully getting better and not complaining as much. My tongue hurts a bit from the biting I’ve had to do but at least it’s happening less often.

    I want people to think I’m awesome all the time, not just on first impression. Because, if I do say so, I am pretty bad ass. 🙂
    Kim recently posted…Confession: I Still Sleep with a Stuffed AnimalMy Profile

    1. Kim, I am so happy that you reached out for help for yourself! That takes a lot of courage, to admit your flaws and want to do something about it. We should all be like that! And I’ll bet you ARE pretty bad ass. Maybe one of these days I’ll get to meet you. You know, at one of those blog conference thingies I haven’t yet ever attended. But who knows? Maybe one day.

  2. Great topic Maureen. I always ask “would I want me as a friend?” Sadly sometimes the answer is no. It helps keep me in check and hopefully weed out the selfish or annoying attributes I sometimes posess. The people I find I like the most are open, honest, self reproaching and kind. They make u feel better when u around them. I am such a work in progress. Being able to “check yourself” and see u for who u really are is the best thing u can do for yourself.

    1. I believe we are all a work in progress, Julie. And I also would rather have those same types of people around me. Life is too short to be dragged down by those people who just love to zap the energy out of the room, don’t you think? Those people who, unfortunately, cannot check themselves. It’s a lot of work to keep ourselves in check, but it’s worth it! ps – I’m definitely not always someone I would want to be friends with. That must be normal, no?

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